A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend;
a successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves;
after marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
Love is blind, but marriage is the eye-opener
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing: either his car is new or his wife.
The honeymoon is over
when the husband calls home to say
he will be late for dinner
and the answering machine says
it's in the microwave
When a newly couple smiles,
everyone knows why;
when a ten-year married couple smiles,
everyone wonders why.
Many a men owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
A man is imcomplete until he is married.
After that , he is finished.
If you want your wife to listen
and pay strict attention to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.
When a man's wife learns to understand him,
she usually stops listening to him.
When the lights are out,
all women are beautiful.
There is no difference between a wise man and a fool
when they fall in love.
The nicer someone is,
the farther away he is from you.
Almost everything is easier to get into than out of.
Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone.
All the good ones are taken.
It was not the apple on the tree
but the couple on the ground
that caused the trouble in the garden.
Love is a matter of chemistry;
sex is a matter of physics.
It's better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all.
---------downloaded off the internet
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